Hopefully you’ve read the first two articles in the series? In this article we will dive into figuring out “ideal you”, which is the first step in the change process.
This step isn’t fluff and describing it as “ideal” may have many of you thinking it’s fluff. In fact, this is hard because we don’t like to and aren’t good at talking about ourselves! So, if you need to, think of this as figuring out “future you”.
As we discussed, you may have come here looking to make a change or you may have gotten input that requires one or two or more specific changes that lead to something else for you.
In either case we have to figure out what future you looks like after this change process is complete (you will probably complete a number of change processes over the course of your life, hopefully intentionally, so we are only talking about what’s happening now!).
The biggest thing in this stage is your belief in the need to change. If you kinda believe a change is necessary or you only kinda believe in the feedback you’ve received and the changes that have been suggested, this whole process stalls and it’s almost impossible to move forward.
The reason is that change requires energy. That energy comes from the belief that “future you” is going to take you somewhere you can’t get to now. If where you are trying to get to isn’t inspiring or energizing for you, this will also stall the process for you.
So, if you are feeling either of those things, and don’t believe you want to make any changes, you can stop reading this series of articles now.
If you still think there is a change that’s required and you just aren’t clear, either on what needs changing or in which direction you need to go, keep going, trust this process!
O.K. so this is a good time to start purposefully enlisting people to support you! You’ll need them soon.
Now is the time to “dream” a bit. I say dream because we value objectivity, reason and data so much that you won’t be able to imagine “future you” if you don’t dream a bit. And, this is key!
Also, we, as adults, don’t do “imagination” about ourselves very well because we “know”. This is the first hurdle to finding “future you”, your coach / enlisted support person(s) will help you get curious and get into learner mode.
Use your preferred way of capturing what you imagine as “future you” - a collage of pictures; a stream of words; a metaphor that describes future you; a written description - whatever works.
To end this step, refine what you captured.
Work with your coach / enlisted support people to pull meaning out of each part of what you captured then refine it. Then refine it again - leave it messy with words crossed out and new words written at weird angles.
Now rewrite a clean copy of “future you”. Does your description address the thing that needed changing at the start of this process?
Does it address the feedback you were given?
If yes, move on to the second step (next article).
If no, re-look at “future you” with that feeling or feedback in mind and adjust what you captured so that it does address what you felt at the start.